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confessed to a friend.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by itslunahere, Jul 25, 2022.

  1. itslunahere

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    so me and this person have been friends for a while. i end up telling them my feelings and telling them that no matter what their answer will be, i don't want it to change our friendship in any way. they tell me that they are glad that i told them and they hope it helps that i said it out loud. they won't treat me differently and that it won't change our friendship and that they don't really know what to say right now. we don't really talk for 2-3 days then they ask me to hang out.

    i'm really nervous, but i don't cancel and we hang out. i was, as well as my friends, expecting a concrete answer (because this person didn't really give me one?) but nope. didn't talk about it at all. to be fair, i kept saying this is so awkward at the beginning, mainly as a joke, to make a bit less "serious", i guess. but nothing at all. no "just wanted to let you know that i don't feel the same/feel the same", nothing. we just had a great time, hung out for 4 hours.

    now for the advice. i thought "confessing" would lift the weight off my chest. in a way, it surely did. in a way, after the hang out, i realized that it didn't. i can recall at least 3 times where i got teary eyed, i mean, i love this person. i still feel very vulnerable right now, after "confessing". feelings don't just disappear instantly once you tell them to that person. i thought that maybe i would be good to talk to them that soon but i'm not so sure if it is. just as an example, - they told me i was being a baby a few times in an endearing voice and i just wanted to die internally. i'm not joking when i say it was painful lmao. doesn't really help that we banter a lot, we are very playful with each other so it's just horrible for me. any advice when it comes to this? thank you <3
     
  2. BiGemini87

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    Hi, Luna. Having feelings for a friend can be really difficult, because as much as you love their friendship and don't want things to change, it can be really hard to be around them too, because deep down, you want to be so much closer than you already are.

    I think your best bet is to give this friend a little more time to process the information and whether they return your affections or not. Possibly wait for them to broach the subject with you first, but if a lot of time passes (say a few weeks, or so), then I think it's okay to prompt them--just be gentle about it if/when you do.
     
  3. quebec

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    luna.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! :old_smile: I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) :old_big_grin: when that becomes necessary!

    *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: :old_cool:

    *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership.

    *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! :old_rolleyes: If you have any questions at all, you can post a question on my Profile Page or send me a Private Message.

    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  4. Redmelon

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    Hi Luna, I think you were really brave confessing your feelings to your friend, and whether she returns your feelings or not, it sounds like you have a good relationship, and that is great foundation for anything moving forward.

    I fell hard for my then best friend when I was 22, I was an emotional wreck and spent many nights crying at night the feeling was so overwhelming. I never told her though, I was too scared. Even now I am not sure how she would react if she knew.

    I know it's hard to wait when you want to know either way, but waiting a few weeks before you bring up the subject sounds like a plan.
     
  5. Starlight123

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    Kudos to you for being brave enough to tell your truth. I am finding more and more that honesty is rare. Whatever the end result is you did the right thing and did what you could. You won't regret that. Give it time. Go easy on yourself.
     
  6. resu

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    Yes, takes a lot of courage to admit your feelings. Ideally people would just be honest and respond with what they feel (even if it is nothing), but sometimes that doesn't happen for many reasons. Try not to make assumptions, and I agree it would be good to bring up the subject after your friend has more time to think. Also, in the future it can help to first come out before revealing your feelings at a later time, especially if the other person is actually straight.

    Remember, this is not your only chance at love, and you don't want to force someone to feel emotions that aren't there! When you meet the right person who is mutually interested, things will be less stressful and evolve naturally.