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No Fap

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Engdood1, Jun 30, 2022.

  1. Engdood1

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    Has anyone got any experience with this No Fap thing where you don’t masturbate or even think about sex for an extended period of time? I wondered if anyone noticed their attractions change in one way or another? Thanks.
     
  2. Quantumreality

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    Hey @Engdood1 ,

    I have never personally tried No Fap, but I don't think it does much good in and by itself.

    What CAN do good is to stop watching porn and then letting yourself realize what fantasies in your own mind sexually excite you.

    QR
     
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  3. zgaynz

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    I found the more I abstained the more certain I became of my sexuality.
     
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  4. Joolz66

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    Yep, my exact same experience and when the floodgates were released so to speak there was no doubt what my sexual fantasies were exclusively focussed on. It was an interesting experiment but it definitely does not make the gay go away, it only increases the desire in my experience.
     
  5. Joolz66

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    Yep, my exact same experience and when the floodgates were released so to speak there was no doubt what my sexual fantasies were exclusively focussed on. It was an interesting experiment but it definitely does not make the gay go away, it only increases the desire in my experience.
     
  6. Sadness

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    I can’t say if it works, but i’m trying to see, i’m finding hard to stop masturbating, mostly because of anxiety, but when i stopped for a little while woman seemed more attractive i think? Might try again to see if gay fantasies do something to me, but i dont think so
     
  7. Chip

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    The idea that you can change your sexual orientation by not masturbating is, frankly, bullshit. Likewise, it is cruel and just fucked up for anyone, especialy NoFap, to perpetrate such bullshit.

    Nothing wrong with masturbating. Period.
     
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  8. Chip

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    The idea that you can change your sexual orientation by not masturbating is, frankly, bullshit. Likewise, it is cruel and just fucked up for anyone, especialy NoFap, to perpetrate such bullshit.

    Nothing wrong with masturbating. Period.
     
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  9. 10 5 gang

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    They’re the ones that think they’re desensitized to straight porn right?
     
  10. Sadness

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    but did you use to masturbate to woman before?
    (Sorry if the question bothers you, if you dont want to theres no need to answer it) i just find curious
     
  11. Unsure77

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    My understanding is that masturbating is actually good for you. It reduces stress and helps you sleep. That’s what I’ve consistently read. The only people I’ve ever seen discourage it are religious groups that don’t believe in science.
     
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  12. Chiroptera

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    Echoing what has been said, masturbation is actually a healthy habit. Unless you are addicted to the point of missing work, not going out with friends or doing other activities to stay masturbating for an absurd amount of time, you are most likely fine.

    NoFap has no scientific basis and is bullshit. First, because you can't change one's orientation (some people try to supress it - which is extremely unhealthy and unsustainable on the long term). Second, I see people talking about benefits like "more energy" and "more mental focus" - which doesn't make any biological sense.
     
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  13. Unsure77

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    Yeah, I’ve tried diagnosed anxiety disorder (which does give me energy and focus). 0 out of 10. Do not recommend,
     
  14. Searching2022

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    I have never 'done' NoFap but I think the idea is that addictive pornography viewing can create a need to 'escalate' to get the same high just like with a drug. There is another site called your brain on porn or something that goes into this.

    So the idea is if you take a break it will 'reset' back to your natural desires. I don't know if that has been proven but I don't think they say you can change your sexuality but rather that porn can escalate to all sorts of things.
     
  15. Aeolia

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    if you're feeling like your "me time" is having a bad impact on your mental health, then cut the porn and use your imagination. Also maybe tone it down a tad if you're masturbating several times a day.
    Porn is the matrix, not watching as much will have you react differently in general.

    The whole nofap thingy is some kind of make believe perpetuated by self-help gurus online. It's something humans do, it feels nice and can moderately help fight off some diseases on the long run. The reason people feel "changes" when doing it is because they suddenly become hyperattentive to everything that's around them and placebo does the rest.

    The reason you'd feel like your attraction changes is that attraction and orientation change over time. Attraction is not "hard coded" into your brain, and given different contexts, given different experiences and over time it can manifest differently. In nature there is no such thing as orientation, it's a label that's used to describe attraction tendencies in individuals at a point in time.
     
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  16. Engdood1

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    Excellent post. Thank you.
     
    #15 Engdood1, Jul 9, 2022
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2022
  17. Chip

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    This is an extremely dangerous and inaccurate representation, and unfortunately, a small-but-loud group of folks with scant to nonexistent evidence have, in recent years, attempted to muddy up the research by making a bunch of unfounded claims such as stuff like this.

    If attraction "changed" then it would be possible to change one's sexual orientation (and orientation is far more than a label). Which... 70+ years and thousands of peer-reviewed studies have shown that it is not. That's the general consensus of all of the major mental health related professions as well as the sexology specialists. Orientation is, for the most part, hardwired. Whether that is 100% genetic, or a combination of genetics and early childhood factors in the developing brain have yet to be conclusively determined, but there is zero credible evidence that orientation is anything other than fixed very early in life.

    Now, of course, if someone is genuinely bisexual, then they can experience attraction to both sexes, and they may be more attracted to men than to women at points in their lives, but that does not change their underlying sexual orientation.

    Millions of people have lost decades of their lives trying, with futility, to change their sexual orientation. Many have died doing so.

    Please do not share inaccurate information.
     
    #16 Chip, Jul 9, 2022
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2022
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  18. Aeolia

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    Please do not misunderstand. What I said was that it can manifest differently over time and context, because attraction is on a spectrum and is fluid. People have different ranges on that spectrum (according to who they are) and will unconsciously move back and forth in their own range (but if your range is exclusively on the gay side of the spectrum, it won't ever manifest in a heterosexual way).
    What I meant was that it's normal to feel like the way you are attracted to some people or the kind of people you're attracted to changes over time. And that it's nothing to have an existential crisis about if you see it happening to you, doesn't make what you once felt invalid.
    That's what I meant by "hard-coded", that you don't have just one unique way to experience attraction from birth to death.

    I certainly never intended to say that "orientation can be changed if you try hard enough". That would indeed be wrong and harmful.
    Anybody reading this, please work on accepting who you are instead of trying to change it : it won't work, you'll be hurt and lose even more time of your life. I swear it's worth it.

    Thanks for having me correct myself. There are things that I "don't need to explain" in my personal circles. Turns out this is the kinda place where I should be more careful with my word. There indeed are some people that are working relentlessly at trying to make the world believe that orientation can be willingly changed, and they should never have been given the light of day.

    My bad.
     
  19. Chip

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    Attraction is indeed on a spectrum; most of the literature suggests that only 10% of us are extremely at one end or the other, and everyone else is somewhere on the spectrum (though most tend to cluster at one end or the other.)

    However, there isn't much of any credible evidence to suggest that sexual orientation is actually fluid. What often looks like fluidity is, in fact, repression of one's true sexual orientation. For example, we have a bunch of folks here who are just, in their 30s or later, figuring out that they have attraction to the same sex. But this doesn't mean their sexual orientation has changed. What is really going on is that they have always had the same-sex attraction, but their upbringing, fears, messages from society, etc have suppressed their true feelings. These folks have always been gay (or bi), but it was outside of their consciousness until something happened to get them in touch with that. This is a crucial difference to understand, because without this understanding, then we fall back into the dangerous and completely unfounded idea that we can change (or hope for change of) our sexual orientation.


    I'm not sure I have seen any literature to suggest that people shift within their range. They may shift purely in the sense of, for example, if they are bisexual or somewhere on the bisexual spectrum, go out with both guys and girls, but the actual point where they are on the spectrum remains pretty static, at least according to all the credible literature I've seen on the topic.

    If you are talking about what I described above, where same-sex attraction is suppressed, mostly by socialization, and comes out once circumstances permit, then I would agree with that.

    Absolutely, 100% agree.

    No worries. I am just super sensitive to this because I see the aftermath of pain from people who are regularly convinced by religious bigots that change is possible... and it simply is not.