It has been about 6-months since I came out to myself and a few others at age 60. Looking for a LTR, I signed up for a few popular dating apps that focus on relationships not hookups. While I live in a smaller city with a large university, between the combined apps there were fewer than a couple of dozen older adults on them. Most on the apps are over an hour away in larger cities, not really practical for building relationships. I have never liked the bar scene. It feels like it would help to find other places where I can get to know other people instead of connecting based on a few photos and questions. There seem like plenty of groups for students and younger people, but not for older adults. To my knowledge, I don't personally know any gay men in town and am having trouble getting started. For those of you in smaller towns, how have you met other men? Also, are there subtle things (clothing/jewelry, etc.) that signal someone is bi or gay? Any advice would be appreciated!
Have you taken a look at meetup.com for your city and environs? Make sure you use all the keywords for your search because group organizers can use anything. Lgbt, gay, queer, etc. Even just searching for activities you’re interested might yield some gay participants in an otherwise not gay-identified group. If that makes sense. ;}
Hey I know it can be tough in smaller places and an hour or so distance can seem like quite a distance for a relationship but if both people drive it can be workable. I think distances where you can travel there and back in a day are workable, further than that and it does become harder although it doesnt mean it never works. I also think it depends how set people are on ever moving, I appreciate that nobody is going to meet someone and 3 months later uproot their whole life to be closer but if long term you would be potentially up for moving to a bigger city or the other person would be prepared to move to your location then it does open more possibilities. I would also echo what has been said above about finding groups, even if the groups themselves are a bit further away than is idea, you might find that there are people at those groups who live closer to you but like you couldnt find a closer group. I totally get that a long term relationship is your main aim and I wouldnt say forget about that but I would say dont make it your sole aim, also work on making friends and expanding your social circle and then you never kow what you might find along the way.