1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

A lot to unpack here.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by CatSpinner, Dec 6, 2021.

?

Can a person be both bigender and genderqueer?

Poll closed Dec 13, 2021.
  1. Yes

    100.0%
  2. No

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. CatSpinner

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2021
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hello, I'm new here.

    For a while, I've been questioning my gender identity. I was AFAB and I feel very comfortable in my skin. I don't want hormones, surgery, or to change my name.

    However, I feel like there's something more to me that isn't just female. I feel a part of me is also nonbinary, so it's like an extension of myself. I feel 70-80% female and 20-30% nonbinary. I've been thinking of changing my pronouns to she/they instead of exclusively she/her. I don't feel comfortable telling certain people who don't understand what I'm going through, so that's why I'm here!

    My gender expression feels pretty consistent, I don't dress feminine very often. I'm fine wearing feminine clothing, but not all the time. I do however like to cosplay androgynous-presenting male anime characters. I can't give examples of characters here, because that will end up giving away my identity. I also want to start practicing dressing more nonbinary.

    I have considered that maybe I'm just gender non-conforming, but I feel like it's more than that. Does that make sense? I'm sorry if I just sound confused.

    I feel both bigender and genderqueer because of these things listed above. Hopefully it makes sense. If not, I can try to explain it a little bit better. There's a poll for those who'd like to vote in it.
     
  2. Hats

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2015
    Messages:
    383
    Likes Received:
    39
    Location:
    Neverland
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Welcome to EC CatSpinner!

    If they feel right then I don't see why you can't use them. :slight_smile:
     
  3. caden0803

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2021
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Alabama
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Confusion is a natural feeling to have when you go through something like this so take every step of it at your own pace. If changing your pronouns and wardrobe helps you feel more nonbinary on some level then that is great.
     
    #3 caden0803, Dec 6, 2021
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2021
  4. CatSpinner

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2021
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thanks, Hats and caden0803.

    I've been doing more research last night and came to the realization that I may be part agender, if that makes sense?

    Last night, I looked into bigender some more and saw that there are bigender folks who flux between two genders. Do I have to flux to be considered bigender, or does it not matter? I saw in an LGBTA Wiki article that some people do and some don't.
     
    caden0803 likes this.
  5. Hats

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2015
    Messages:
    383
    Likes Received:
    39
    Location:
    Neverland
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    No, you don't have to flux between them.
     
  6. caden0803

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2021
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    71
    Location:
    Alabama
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Based on what the definitions for agender and bigender are I could see either working for you or both. If you want to use them as a part of your gender expression by all means have at it.
     
  7. PGG

    PGG
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2021
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi, CatSpinner, I'm new here but I think I feel what you do except in reverse. My body is male and I feel no need to change it, but my self-identity is at least 70% female, although nobody but me and my therapist knows it. She has helped me understand that labels are not what's important -- it's who we are and what we feel and who we want to be, even if circumstances necessitate that we hide it from others. Don't worry about labels.

    Willing to offer mutual support if you're interested.
     
    CatSpinner likes this.
  8. CatSpinner

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2021
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thanks, PGG!

    While I understand that labels are not important, I'd feel like a poser if I don't have a name for what I'm experiencing when I'm in LGBT+ friendly places. I'm sorry if it sounds kind of silly. I just find it kind of exhausting to explain to close friends online/IRL what I'm feeling without having a name for it, so I don't really see it as a label. It's more like a shortcut. I hope I'm making sense. :flushed:

    Lately, I've also looked into the word demigirl, which fits me more than bigender and genderqueer. Plus, it's more specific to what I'm experiencing. The only problem is that I don't particularly like the word "demigirl," because as a woman, I don't like being called "girl." It makes me sound more juvenile. At least there are words such as "demiwoman" and "demifemale."