Hey everyone, hope you're all doing well. It's been awhile! So, as most of you know, I'm bisexual and consider myself towards the heterosexual side of the bi spectrum. Well, over the last few months (while I've been away from EC) I have realized just how strong my gay side is. In other words, just how strong my attraction to men is. I used to think I wasn't very attracted to men physically but that's not the case. While I still consider myself as a bisexual who prefers women, I have realized I'm closer to the middle. I used to say my bisexuality is something like 80% attraction to women and 20% attraction to men, but now I would say it's something like 60% (women) and 40% (men). Maybe even 55% (women) and 45% (men) Self discovery is a beautiful thing! Cheers!
It’s great that you’re more comfortable and feel you have a better understanding of your sexuality. Congrats!
It's good to hear you're becoming more confident and comfortable in your sexuality. It's not uncommon to notice a "shift" in your attractions when this happens, though it's less a shift in your orientation, and more a shift in your sense of self. I hope you continue to share your journey with us.
Who knows as your journey of self discovery continues you may find like many of us have that in end your gay! Wherever you land enjoy it and keep the voyage of discovery open to new experiences.
Who know, I guess we'll just have to wait and see! Self-discovery is a life long journey. I've identified as bixeual for well over 10 years though, so if that is the case its been quite a long phase! haha..
I had a bi-phase because I was still dating women while at the same time feeling my same-sex attraction increasing. I always had some interest in guys since teen years but repressed it mostly. When I explicitly admitted to myself that I was bi - which came about after having a couple same-sex encounters - I found my attraction to men grow even stronger. Ultimately, my desire became exclusively men.
I too had a very short bi phase while still with my then GF but ultimately knew I preferred men once I acknowledged by same sex attraction. Really after the first time I was intimate with another man I realized how much better sex with another man was. In short order I lost my attraction to women and then my ability to be intimate with them. Frankly it was a relief to leave my heterosexuality behind and embrace being a gay man.
How long was your bi-phase? It's hard to believe I would have a bi "phase" for more than 10 years if I wasn't in fact bi. I could understand how someone would have a long bi phase if they were in denial but I'm very accepting of my gay side, have hooked up with men, told all my close relatives, etc. that I'm bi, and would be very wiling to date a man.
Gongratulations on figuring things out. Sexuality can be so confusing. I had a short bi phase, but I realized, that it just don't describe me that well, while I am attracted to certain types of women and can imagine having sex with a woman, but it all might be just because I'm curious, because I realized I haven't had any crushes to women, even in my imagination, there is no love involved. Maybe I am in denial. I don't even know anymore. I have considered being pan as well and that seems to describe me bit better, than bi. I don't really even mind being pan. I don't like having any limitations at all.
Defining the length of my bi-phase would depend on how you define it. If you count the time from my teen years when I had a repressed, fleeting interest, then quite a long time. If the beginning of it started when I more actively embraced same-sex thoughts by masturbating to pictures of naked men and same-sex fantasies, then a bit shorter time. If it began when I had an actual same-sex encounter, then an even shorter period. Of course, this was going on while I continued to date women, but as things progressed my sexual interest in women waned to the point of no interest.
Your current interest in men could be an indication that you are more accepting of your sexuality and maybe you are more on the gay end of the spectrum. Or, it could be related to current stimulation of your sexuality. I know, in my case, when the intimacy is good with an opposite sex partner I am more attracted to others of the opposite sex. When my intimacy is good with a same sex partner I am more attracted to another same sex person. That said, if a person, of either sex, that is my type appears, I find myself very drawn to them and not even notice anyone else. Are you, currently, involved with a man or have a special guy in mind? Cause that could be it!
I'm not involved with a guy at this very moment. I wish I was though. However, I was recently talking to a guy on a dating app that I found very attractive.
There are no doubt many men that are truly bisexual and then some like myself that held on to that label for sometime as a safeguard against having to face the reality that we are gay, not bi, not straight. While my bi phase didn’t last too long I could certainly see it going for longer periods of time. Having to finally admit I was gay took some time and a great deal of personal reflection.
