There was this guy who reached out to me a few days ago through private messages on Meetup. He was a part of a few groups and was the organizer of one movie group. We conversed with each other back and forth, both found out we were bi but looking for friendships, and then he asked me if I could come to a movie Meetup he has planned for January. I declined because I will have to get up early the next day for work, but told him I’d be interested in other future events. He also suggested meeting up with just me to get some food when we get warmer weather. I told him that interested me. We talked a bit more after that about our interests and then stopped. I figured we’d talk again and meet each other through Meetups and one-on-one. I found it fun to talk to him. I noticed today that he removed himself from Meetup. I was really upset by this and was wondering if he’s doing okay. I felt bad for declining to go to his January meetup, but I know I’m not responsible for him either. I get the feeling that he’s lonely and depressed. I did search up his cell number online after he provided it on the Meetup event he was organizing for January (before he removed his Meetup account) and I have it on my browser history. Should I give him a text to see if he’s doing okay, or would be stalker-ish and creepy? I know we only chatted once, but I felt like we had a connection. I’m not very outgoing and don’t have a lot to share. I don’t know if I should ask him to hang out somewhere to lift his spirits or encourage him to restart his Meetup account and the group he started. Maybe I can just ask him why he left. Should I just let this all go and move on? Maybe he’s looking for some other help?
I think it would be reasonable to send a short text, identify yourself, and see if he wants to communicate. Something like "Hey, this is Dude101 from Meetup. I saw that you left the group, and was just a little concerned. Everything OK? Would you like to talk?" And just leave it at that. If he responds, take it from there... slowly. And if not, let it go.
Basically what @Chip said: keep it simple, let him know you're just checking in to see if he's okay/would like to meet up sometime, and leave it to him whether he replies or not. If he doesn't, sadly there isn't much you can do about it. At least you'll have put it out there that you care, and that if he needs anything, he can reach out. Otherwise, you don't want to wind up holding a candle for someone who's showing no interest in maintaining that connection. Hopefully things work out in whatever way they need to.
