How to find out or to make sure, if your friend is LGBTQ+ ally or is someone who is in LGBTQ+ (sorry, I don't know how to word it better)? I have heard my friend mention a lot how it shouldn't matter who marries who and she even said, that it shouldn't matter, even if she would've want to get married to another woman. She didn't exactly say she wants to. She has also a cousin, who is gay and is married to a guy. She is very open with this subject, that makes me happy and uncomfortable at the same time, because she loudly voices her opinions and I'm scared even just talking about it, because I don't want to blurt my secret out or others finding out, without it being the right time and place for it and I'm so curious and if she is, then I wouldn't mind outing myself to her, but I don't just want to bluntly ask about it or make a wrong move by telling her. All of these remarks just pique my curiosity. Only thing I have said to her, that I agree with her opinions and I think the same way. She kinda has earned my trust and we have known each other for a year, because of school. Talking about all of this with her makes me want to tell, that I'm part of LGBTQ+ too.
I would subtly bring up a transgender related topic and work it into a conversation. Her reaction may tell you whether she's accepting of trans people. I would be very careful of who you tell though- even though she may be accepting it may put you in a bad situation. Weigh the possible pros and cons of telling her first before making a decision. I wish I would have done this before telling my brother because he's accepting of other trans people, just not me (said I "didn't show the signs." Duh, I was in denial-that's what I want to say.). If you can find out if she has any trans friends that would help you too. I hope that helped Rayland!
I definetly need to be careful. I will try to bring up trans subject. I have already thought a bit about how to incorporate it into our conversations. I might tell her that I'm asking this, because I have trans friends and see her reaction. At least this is what my thought process is.
Whether she's part of it or not, she certainly sounds supportive of LGBT people. Whether you tell her or not is up to you; don't do it out of a sense of obligation; no one is entitled to that information, no matter how supportive they might be. But if you want to tell her, really want to open up to someone, then she sounds like a good person to talk to. Just make sure you set boundaries and make those boundaries clear before telling her.
It's not out of obligation or anything like that. I just feel like I want to tell her and feel like I can trust her, but it's not very certain and I'm afraid, that she will avoid the subject afterwards, like my other friend, who I am out to does. It's complicated. I doubt though she would out me to others. I don't know, this is just the feeling I get. We are also very similar to each other. Boundaries are important and I will need to think through how I tell her, but I have decided that she will be the second person, who I tell my secret. Just need the time and place to be right and select the right words for how I am going to say it. Decided to say it without writing any letters. I am not even nervous about telling her. I was terrified, when I told my other friend through email. I don't know, if that's a good or bad thing.
