1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Hello... UK, New and Confused and Nobody to talk to!

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Kate 47, Nov 5, 2021.

  1. Kate 47

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2020
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Aaargh! I posted a thread in the Later in Life section in March 2020, but then covid hit and we were in lockdowns, and I worked from home for ages...

    I'm 49, based in the UK, and have always been straight, as far as I was aware. In March 2020, just before Covid, I suddenly had feelings that I was attracted to women, and actually had been for some time, but then did nothing about it and talked to nobody, because the opportunity never arose. I tried to update my earlier thread but it's been so long that I don't thing it's possible.

    So yes... Hi! I have no idea what I'm doing, and have nobody to talk to about what I'm feeling, and I'm not much further on from where I was back when I first posted, apart from feeling more sure that I'm attracted to women rather than men. Feels a bit of a waste to realise when I'm this old, but hey, I'm not in any kind of relationship, so I can't hurt anyone. I have no idea what to do next though. I feel as though I've been in limbo for the last 18 months, and now I kind of want to take some kind of action, even if it's just admitting something to some of the people round me (god knows how you start that though!).

    Um... so... hello?
     
  2. Rayland

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2021
    Messages:
    2,111
    Likes Received:
    1,584
    Location:
    Estonia
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hello Kate and welcome back to the EC! :slight_smile:
     
  3. FireFox

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2021
    Messages:
    344
    Likes Received:
    108
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi Kate, welcome to EC :blush:
     
  4. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hello and welcome back! :slight_smile:

    It’s certainly not a waste to realise your sexuality later in life. We all come to the realisation at different times for a range of reasons. Maybe you just weren’t ready to know before now. That’s OK and don’t beat yourself up about it.

    Given that you now want to take some action, it sounds like you have progressed over the last 18 months. I realised my sexuality when I was in my late twenties, but didn’t take any real action for three years. In some ways it feels like time wasted, but I think I needed that time to process what was going on and come to terms with it.

    I hope you find the support you’re looking for here, and keep us updated. :slight_smile:
     
  5. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,698
    Likes Received:
    3,722
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Welcome back
     
  6. Kate 47

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2020
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thank you! :slight_smile:
     
  7. quebec

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,173
    Likes Received:
    2,347
    Location:
    U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Kate.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome back to Empty Closets! :old_smile: There are a number of sub-forums here on EC...why don't you check them out and then feel free to join in the conversations! This is a community of loving, caring and very supportive people and we will do our best to help you blend into the community. You can ask questions in any of the Sub-forums by creating a new thread or by joining in a conversation-thread that is already going. You can also post a message on anyone's Profile Page after you have made at least ten posts yourself. If you have a question that is somewhat private you can always send a Private Message to any Staff Member. Normally Private Messages can only be exchanged between two Full Members, but a PM to a Staff Member is an exception. :old_wink: We are so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets! :old_big_grin:
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  8. R3TR0

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2020
    Messages:
    90
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    London, UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi Kate,

    It’s never too late at all. It comes at different stages. You’re in the right place for support! I’m from London, so if you need anyone to talk to I’m happy to help.

    Sending lots of love!

    Amz :blush:
     
  9. scaredycat88

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2021
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Thailand
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    im as well new to this community and just came across your post. i want to say i can relate to what you feel and i think you are not alone :slight_smile:
     
  10. TinyWerewolf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2021
    Messages:
    754
    Likes Received:
    489
    Location:
    Rural USA
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Well I can relate in a way- I was in denial. I should've known about both my sexuality and gender identity at around 11, but I didn't until I was 17 almost 18. And now here I am after a ton of crap happening in my life. It's a process, and we're all here to support each other along the way. Welcome to EC Kate!
     
  11. Kate 47

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2020
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thank you! I still haven't done anything about it... I did sort of come out to one friend (who was fine with it and said he wasn't surprised) but apart from that I haven't had any time or opportunity to tell anyone else, or to do anything about it. The more I think about it, the more all the signs were there right back to my early teens, so god knows why I never saw it!