1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Is daydreaming when you cant be with someone healthy

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Lemony, Sep 29, 2021.

  1. Lemony

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2020
    Messages:
    317
    Likes Received:
    138
    Location:
    Australia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It may help to read my thread “Lemony is in love and that is all she can think about” first but alas my question is simple. I love my friend who I can’t be with now, she is bi so thats a positive. She has a bf and lives interstate. I feel like she may feel similar or in years time we might be able to be with each other. We reconnected after 3 years and it felt like no time went by. She knows I have feelings for her.

    Is it healthy to cope with my love that hurts right now to daydream at night about our possible future together or is that like super unhealthy and bad...... I mean we both had photos from our time together in easy reach from 3 years ago..... I feel like the universe is telling me that we will be together just not yet....

    Any advice?

    I LOVE THIS GIRL SO DAMN MUCH LIKE I SWEAR TO GOD
     
  2. QuietPeace

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2020
    Messages:
    1,706
    Likes Received:
    1,154
    Location:
    Northern Europe
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    IMHO spending a little time with daydreams and fantasy are fine. If it starts to become an obsession or takes time and energy away from living your real life then that would be a problem. I myself have spent a great deal of time daydreaming that things would have been different and I do not think that it has benefited me at all, in fact it often just led to more depression and regrets for me. I have found that putting more effort into cultivating new relationships (as in friendships) was more practical (in fact doing so is how I met and developed my relationship with my now husband).
     
  3. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    4,300
    Likes Received:
    2,096
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I’ve done this in the past myself, so you’re not the only one. I suppose it serves as an escape from the reality of the situation. Though, I’m not necessarily recommending it, as @QuietPeace says above, your mental energy is probably better spent on forming new connections and friendships, or even on spending time with existing friend to distract yourself.

    I think it’s probably fine occasionally, as long as it doesn’t cause you to lose sight of the reality of the situation (such as that she has a boyfriend), and also doesn’t leave you feeling worse afterwards when reality hits you again.

    Whatever happens, know that you will get through this.
     
    #3 LostInDaydreams, Oct 2, 2021
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2021
    QuietPeace and Lemony like this.