Moving on

I'm not sure if you created this thread to simply express how you are feeling or to seek feedback and support. Either way, it's good that you wrote it out, because pent up feelings like these can really drag us down and I get a sense of how much you are struggling just from reading what you wrote.

Assuming you are seeking feedback and support, I wonder if you can say anything more about the heartbreak you experienced. It sounds like it was a loss of some sort, but I'm not entirely clear what kind of loss it was. Suffice to say it has left you heartbroken and struggling to cope with the waves of emotion.

In this world there are so many personality types. Some people are light and fluffy and just want to giggle their way through each day, while others are more serious and tend to look at things more intensely. We can't all be the same and we can't all seek the same in a girlfriend, boyfriend or partner. There is no reason to suppose you would not match with someone, if that's what you really want. I just wonder if you need to get past the heartbreak first?

Is there anything that makes today particularly tough?

You did a good thing in writing about how you feel. Write some more if you can/wish to.

 

I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. I have been there and I know that it is difficult.

I am also pretty shy and I can be so intense that I scare people and I found someone. As Patrick said, there are a lot of types of people out there.

 

Hey I am sorry you are finding today so tough, some days are like that especially when you are going through something difficult. How long is it since your heartbreak? Do you have any hobbbies or interests you can try and keep yourself busy with?
I will echo @PatrickUK in that everyone is looking for something different so just because your previous love didnt work out doesnt mean there arent plenty of other potentials out there.

Take it easy on yourself.

 

If you are thinking of dating again it does tend to suggest that you have progressed through the initial stages of hurt and loss, even if there is some residual pain when the 'waves' return, and you seem to be aware that reaching out to your ex wouldn't be a good idea at this stage.

The end of a relationship and the heartbreak that comes with it is something we have to journey through. Some people can pick themselves up relatively quickly, while others need more time. There is no precise formula and some days it will feel like you are journeying through mud, but the main thing is to keep putting one foot in front of the other and resisting the temptation to wallow, look back or (even worse) step back.

When you think of putting yourself out there, what does that mean - to you? Does it mean going out and mixing and mingling on the scene, or could it be something like creating a dating profile? How would you feel about either or both of those things?

 

I understand completely, I'm still dealing with my own crush and some days are better than others. My mind tends to jump to the most negative explanation where she is concerned and it hurts even when it's my own mind causing the pain because it believes no one could love me.

I can also be very intense and am quite an introvert so I find it hard to form connections with people, but without risk there's no chance of reward. It's always a risk that we'll have heartbreak when we let someone into our hearts but not letting anyone in carries its own problems and can be heartbreaking as well.

 

What do you think is the biggest thing stopping you making a dating profile or getting back out there?

 

Being shy is tricky, I totally get that. I guess there is no miracle cure. Perhaps you can practise by chatting to some people on EC, not because I am suggesting that it will be a good place to find someone but sometimes practising talking to new people can give you some confidence.