I’m female and I’ve struggled with anxiety since I was 14 (I’m now 22) and it’s manifested into several different things like social anxiety, eating disorders, you name it. But I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years and now I’m freaking out that I might be bisexual or lesbian. I’m not sure why this thought has popped into my head I just feel like something's wrong with me and I don’t know why I broke up with my boyfriend I just wanted a break. And then 2 days later I’m questioning my sexuality. I’ve always thought girls were pretty but thought it was an insecurity thing thinking I wish I looked more like them. I’ve also always had crushes on guys like watching movies I’m usually drawn to the heterosexual couple. But now that I’ve got this idea in my head every film I rewatch I’m obsessing over whether I find the girl attractive and I’m less attracted to the male. I don’t know if this is because I’m just out of a relationship or if it’s because I’m realising i do like girls or what. It’s consuming my every thought and I just can’t work it out. I’m a sexual person so can get turned on my many things if I think about it for long enough. I’ve watched lesbian porn but it’s always been about thinking about the stuff being done to me and how I’d feel. I can’t picture myself going down on a girl but Im not put off by the thought of a girl going down on me? I just don’t know what I want and what is internalised homophobia (I have never had an issue with anyone else doing their thing or judged but for myself it feels wrong) or if it’s just wrong because it isn’t me and I’m obsessing over nothing. I don’t know how to figure it out or where to turn to. My friends and family would be supportive but they don’t understand the thoughts I’m feeling right now so I feel alone. Wish I had some lesbian / bi friends I could talk to about it all.
You feel good being girly and wouldn’t mind fooling around with another girl Maybe keep your options open, I think you’d like it , but that’s just my gut, I know nothing lol
does the idea of being with a woman really arouse you? if not then you’re probably straight. have you ever had any feelings for girls?
I think you need to give yourself a bit of a break to process what happened with your boyfriend. It's still a recent thing and all of the feelings associated with the break up sit within a bigger picture that includes social anxiety, eating disorders and other stressful issues. Our sexuality is not set in stone. Most people experience a predominant attraction to the opposite sex or same sex (and that's good enough to label ourselves as straight or gay) but there may be fleeting moments of curiosity that don't align with our normal feelings and that's totally okay. It doesn't mean everything we have ever known and enjoyed is suddenly crumbling away. Humans are curious, by nature and there is nothing wrong with healthy curiosity. You already have a number of stressful things to worry about and this really is something new that you shouldn't add to the pile. If you find that things escalate beyond healthy curiosity and attraction to members of the same sex start to become significant and dominate your fantasies it might be worth a closer look, but I wouldn't rush to any conclusions right now or begin to obsess over something that seems (at that stage) perfectly normal and reasonable.
