Orientation you'd show if you were to be a parent?

I have one friend who is Bi, but she’s married to a man with a child. That doesn’t make her straight and she doesn’t pretend to be straight. I actually went to Pride events with her and her son a couple of years ago. If you think about it, it’s kinder for her son to grow up knowing incase it ever comes up with her or if he turns out to not be straight.

Meanwhile, I have another friend who is pan and had a baby with a boyfriend. She went on to marry a woman (because that was the better fit for her) and just has a co-parenting arrangement with the dad. They actually have bbq’s and take trips and stuff with the birth dad sometimes and all seem happy with the arrangement. Her son is a teen and is thriving.

Seems like you’d do whatever is healthiest for your family (which probably involves being honest and showing your kid loving relationships).

 

Difficult for me to follow my own advice as I haven’t come out to my family yet. But this is more about a fear of admitting to my wife that I haven’t been totally honest.

How I would like to act with my kids (I have 2 going through puberty) is to just be me. I wouldn’t try to act more straight. I want my kids to grow up with an open mind to sexuality and to see everyone as individuals and all are acceptable. I’m just sorry I didn’t figure this out earlier and coming out might be easier.

 

Being married to my wife is great! Like all relationships there are times when it’s hard work, but she’s my soul mate. This is what makes it harder to come out to her.

 

Hi, I.don't mean to necro this post but I am confused by your wording here. I am gay guy in a gay marriage and I'm not offended but what do you mean? Like gay guys who have a child with a woman? I have friends in this situation and they seem to, from the outside at least, handle like any other divorced couple with kids who have re-partnered handle it. If their parent's new relationships become serious enough, then their partners are treated like step-parents. As for a gay couple raising children together, we know one couple who adopted 4 children after fostering 7 kids over the years. Their adopted sons and daughter are all high-achieving, well-adjusted humans(all but 1 son is over 18 now) and many of their careers(their daughter is a nurse, one of the sons is a social worker) are geared towards helping others so I'd say they turned out pretty good.

I'm not saying you believe this, Jared, but some people believe gay parents will "prevert" children. I think these are the kinds of people who think of us as just a sex act. I don't remember my straight parents making out in front of me, they certainly did not have sex in front of me. Their straightness also failed to rub off on me(they got my brother though, so 1 of 2 ain't bad). The only worry I have about parenthood, other than universal fears all parents share, is about having a daughter. I do sometimes worry if we could give her everything she needs, since neither of us is female, but our friends' daughter is an awesome woman, so I know it is an irrational fear.

 

The thing about you have a daughter is I would assume you still have women in your life (whether that’s your mom or a sister or female friends or the daughter’s birth mom). You can find or make a way to have women in her life as she gets to a point she needs that. Plus, plenty of single parents find a way to make it work with kids who aren’t their own gender.

And honestly, I grew up with a mother and she still never explained feminine hygiene products, sex, or dating. She took me to a Mary Kay thing to try to teach me about makeup. So, there’s no guarantee living with a woman is going to impart all that knowledge more than you could with some research or with the right friends. Or maybe even a kindly school counselor or a pediatrician

 

Hey, Unsure77, we actually don't have children currently. That was just a nervous thought I had about daughters. Thank you though, that does help.