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Scared my friends will think I'm coming out for attention

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Omnopus, Mar 29, 2021.

  1. Omnopus

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    I have many trans friends, and in my entire time knowing them, I've never seen myself as anything but female. Recently, I've begun to believe that I am a demigirl. I've heard them make comments in the past about people pretending to be trans for attention, and now I fear that if I come out to them, they will make the same comments about me. How should I handle this?
     
  2. QuietPeace

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    Friends are people who support you, not people who ridicule or invalidate you. You could give them a chance, let them know that you have been really thinking about it and then come out to them. If they support you then great you win. If they ridicule or gaslight you then they have outed themselves as not being friends and you can cut them out of your life which in my mind is still a win as getting rid of bad or unsupportive people is a positive thing to do.
     
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  3. LostInDaydreams

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    Hi @Omnipus,

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re worried about this. I hope that as your friends they won’t make accusations along those lines, but if they do then it probably says more about them and I would suggest you reconsider whether they are really sort of people that you want to be friends with.

    Is there any of them that you’re particularly close to? Could you speak to them first? Having one or two people on your side might make a difference and help you feel a little more confident about coming out to everyone else.
     
    #3 LostInDaydreams, Mar 29, 2021
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2021
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  4. quebec

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    Omnopus/Artemis.....Hello and a great big LGBTQ+ welcome to Empty Closets! :old_smile: There is a sub-forum here on EC that is titled “Gender Identity and Expression”. If you post there I think you'll find people who will understand how you feel and will be able to offer support and understanding! :old_big_grin: It's up to you who you come out to and when you do it. If they don't like it it's their problem ...NOT... yours! I like the idea of telling one or two really good friends who you know will be there for you for sure. Then you will have a support group to help back you up. We are so glad that you have found us here on Empty Closets!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    #4 quebec, Apr 22, 2021
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2021
  5. clockworkfox

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    Gender is a spectrum - i think what we've been seeing in recent years is less "faking it", and more broadening of understanding of what gender is! I understand your worries, but I would hope that your trans friends would be understanding.

    In my opinion, and feel free to disregard it, gender is not only more complex that male and female, but also more complex than cis and trans. Your experience of coming to understand yourself as a demigirl is different than my own trans experience, but it is still a valid, deepening of understanding of the self. That deserves to be respected, and I hope that your friends will show you the same respect and understanding that you've shown them.
     
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