Does your sexuality define you?

I'm recently out later in life. I vocally support LGBT groups, attend them and would stick up for us where ever possible. But I don't go round telling people I'm gay all the time.

 

My lack of sexuality does, to an extent. (Asexual, here.) I have no interest in sex or a relationship, and I'd say that defines part of me pretty well. But I also don't go around broadcasting it, because I don't feel the need to. Otherwise it would be like "Hey, let me tell you about all the sex I'm not having!" or "Let me tell you about the people I'm not dating!" If people ask, though, I tell them, and I wish I knew a way to be a little more transparent about it, just to let other potential aces out there know that they're not the only one.

 

It provides some definition - how much, I don't really know. You'd have to take me to an alternate universe where I was 100% straight/gay to see for sure.


In the end though, I'd say I'm much more nerdy/eccentric than I am queer.

 

I'd say it's probably one of the cornerstones of my identity--not the only one but one nonetheless. I tend to think in a perfect world, or even if I were coming out now rather than when I did, it would probably be a smaller part of who I am, but it's hard to know...

 

At the time I embraced my sexuality, it took up the vast majority of my time and attention. I would have said about six years ago it was significant part of defining me. As time has gone on and I have become more comfortable with whom I am as an individual I think from my perspective it defines me less and less. However, I believe those that I know and whom know me use it as a material way of defining me. I don’t think it’s something the people I know necessary do consciously (although for some it my be). I just think being gay is a deviation from the heteronormative script which many of them follow and I am an anomaly from the script.

 

Not at all. I'm very quiet and private about it. My husband on the other hand is very loud and vocal about it. Which puts me in a embarrassing spot honestly.

 

I wouldn't say it defines me, but it is an important part of me. It isn't one of the very first things I tell people, and typically don't tell people unless it would be too uncomfortable to pretend to be straight.

However, I feel like sexuality is something VERY important to society (relationships, attraction, sex, flirting etc is everywhere, even on TV and in advertising) meaning that being gay is something that will always be a be part of who I am.

 

It’s a part of who I am but my sexuality doesn’t define me.
I didn’t come out until my mid 20s so I think if I had come out earlier then maybe my sexuality would be more of a defining aspect of who I am.

Coming out has been a journey of unlearning and relearning a lot of things, and it’s helped me be a better me than I was before.

I’ll gladly stand up for any member of the LGBT+ community, y’all are my people.

 

I wish it didn't, but yea kind of. There are very few things my life is built on, so anything significant like that tends to get absorbed into my personality automatically.

 

For a while, I did think that one's sexuality defined them. But, through personal experience, I've changed my mind. I've come to realize that, no matter what label I give myself, I'm still me. When I called myself straight, I was me on the inside. Now that I call myself pansexual, I'm still the same me on the inside. The only difference is that I'm striving to be me on the outside too.

Of course, other people may define me based on the fact that I'm pansexual, but I don't mind. If it helps them understand who I am better, then we would both be better off for it.
Then, there will be people that will use a person's identity as a weapon instead. I care about that, because that's a whole other can of worms.

But, overall, I'd say that sexuality doesn't define me.

 

My gender identity defines me moreso than my sexuality. I typically only tell close friends that I am trans, and will disclose that I am gay if it comes up.

 

Sexuality, no. I find bisexuality to be quite transparent.
But gender, yes.

 

I would hope not. My sexuality is important to me, and my identity and place in the queer community is very valuable to me, but I am a whole person. I am more than just the gender(s) of the people I love.

 

I feel like this last part is so true. People take "unique" things as being someone's defining characteristic quite often. This isn't always bad but still.

 

Ehhh. My sexual identity is a part of me and I'm proud of it. I'm not a pansexual girl. I am a girl who happens to be pansexual. But I wouldn't have someone introduce me as "my pansexual friend," for obvious reasons. I am a daughter, a friend, a sister, an avid reader, chef etc. I am a member of the LGBT+ community but I don't know if I'd include that in a list of attributes about me.

 

It's not the only thing but it's one of a few core pieces of my identity. In the same stratosphere as being a dog owner, sports fan, Californian transplant to Kentucky, Jew, 90s music lover, and dad joke maker. Anyone who knows me knows me as all these things not just "the gay one"

 

Not really, my eccentric personality does.

 

I have found it can influence how you perceive other people in everyday relationships IF you do not know how to define your sexuality or identity. Once you have that solidified for yourself, it really doesn't matter much. You see things the way they are and it's not full of confusing biological or stereotyping nuances that skew stuff.

 

Nope. Its only one small aspect of me and no one elses business.

Happy days