I left my now ex after over a year together because she wanted to try being with her best friend. After almost a month of no contact, she texted me out of the blue saying she wanted to see me and that she made a huge mistake. At the time she and her friend were not together anymore. I made it clear that I wanted to try again and she agreed, saying she wanted to take things slow. However, when we met up she said she needed time to figure out what she wanted and to figure things out. Her words were: "I want you, but not right now." I lasted about a week before I contacted her trying to better understand her motives (we mutually agreed to contact each other once in a while) and found out that she 1) wanted to try again with her friend, 2) thinks her friend is the One, and 3) won't come back to me if things don't work out between them. This is the friend that didn't look her way for 3 and a half years and treats her horribly. When I asked her why she was willing to go back to her after realizing her friend didn't value her, she said it was because she thinks things will change even there is no evidence that they will. Yesterday, I decided to send her a long, frustrated text saying that she deserves better. I made it clear that I wasn't trying to get her back, called her out on her shit, and told her that no matter what I still loved her and my door was always open. She responded angrily saying I had no right to judge her friend or her relationship. I wrote her back and asked her why she felt the need to respond if she was so happy and confident in her new relationship; she said she didn't want to be an asshole. I then asked why she felt the need to see me and text me if she really didn't want me. She said that at the time she wasn't, but that she was definitely over me now. I told her that 1) she wouldn't have left her friend if there wasn't something missing, and 2) I'd believe her when the proof was in front of me. Her reply was that we would have to "wait and see" how things turn out. What does she want? We were blissfully, genuinely happy despite all the struggles we faced and the arguments we had; it was only when her friend expressed interest that she didn't want to be with me anymore. I can't figure out her mindset. She's obviously afraid, but I don't know why. What should I do?
Leave her alone and move on, dont be showing yourself up, shes not interested in you anymore. I know its really hard but for your own dignity let her go.
This is soooooo not cool. She sounds like she's young and lacks the maturity it takes to understand that a committed relationship can only survive if there is mutual respect. It sounds like the "friend" doesn't respect her or wouldn't have hit on her while she was in a committed relationship and she is displaying a lack of respect for you by being receptive to you ONLY when her new relationship might be a bit rocky. I think what she wants is to not be alone so she's trying to string you along in case this new scenario doesn't go her way. I was your age once, I know how it feels and I made mistakes. Get out there and see what else is out there for you. She may not have respect but YOU can be tough, keep your chin held high and have respect for yourself. Sounds like you're the type of person who would have NO problem attracting a quality girlfriend!
