My Mom Wants Me To See A Therapist And I'm Freaking Out

Your worries are totally normal, but it's something you just kind of have to wait and see what happens. If they're a shaming asshole, you can always leave their care and reach out to someone else. A good therapist will be super supportive, listen to what you have to say, and help you out in any way that they can.

I've seen therapists since I was about 16, and while I had mishaps, the best one I've seen helped me map out goals within my transition and gave me coping mechanisms for my depression and anxiety. She made the environment a safe space where I didn't feel judged and that I wasn't going to get betrayed or anything like that, and is the main reason why I was able to get access to the trans health care that I currently have--something I wouldn't have done if I didn't become one of her clients.

 

I'm going to play devil's advocate here, but go with me. What if you are "confused"? Wouldn't you want to know that? How would you know you weren't confused without someone else saying so? Do you prefer being confused all the time to being clear headed?

 

Please be reassured by Daydreamer's experience.

Also, while your mom might hope that the therapist will "fix" your problem--at least as she sees it--you're going to see that the therapist will be more able to listen to you and will be far more on your side than you expect right now.

You won't be getting any of the pronouncements you fear right now, but the therapist will perform a function that you're probably unable to do to your satisfaction now. That function is to act as a facilitator for communication between you and your mother (so long as your mother is there--I would expect that shortly you would be meeting with the therapist on your own (and the therapist will not be ratting you out to your mother, about whatever you say).

So initially, take advantage of an opportunity to have a person with a neutral voice listen to you.

 

I can't speak for all therapists, but in my admittedly limited experience I have had zero trouble with them trying to convince me of anything. At most, they have suggested "perhaps ____".

Chances are also that the therapist won't put you on drugs. In general, therapists don't have the right in the US to write prescriptions. It takes a doctor--like psychiatrist (who is probably best avoided UNLESS you want the drugs). BUT a therapist might SUGGEST drugs--mine dropped the hint about anti-depressant drugs to me when I saw him last week. But all he can do is suggest that I go and see someone who can write a prescription.

 

What do you mean? Why would you need to come out if you're just "confused"?

Explain what you mean when you say that before finding your identity was a horrible place, and after felt great.

 

Therapists are mostly just people like anybody else who should be there to help you, not hinder your in your well being. If you are confident in your identity and explain that you feel much better since figuring out your identity, a good therapist will not tell you that you are wrong.
I've been to two gender therapists and both were very respectful of my identity and did not question it. No one can decide your identity, not even a therapist. I'd say go there, to do your mom a favor but if you truly do not like the therapist after meeting them, you do not have to go.
See it as a way forward in your transition.

 

How does your mother feel about your gender questions. Is she supportive? Is she upset, angry, or in denial? I ask, because apparently she is the one who set up the appointment. If she is supportive, then you probably don't have anything to worry about. She just wants someone that will help guide you through you changes, if any. If she isn't supportive, then, yeah, maybe be a little concerned as to what kind of gender therapist she made an appointment with. See, in my research of therapist, before I began seeing one, I noticed that there seemed to be therapists that are Pro-LGBT and some that are against LGBT. You can read there backgrounds and their "mission statements" to get an idea of which they are. That being said, there really wasn't a whole lot of anti-LGBT therapists out there.

I absolutely LOVE my therapist!! She has helped me SO much!! I feel so empowered and mentally healthy in my transition. She's also helped with my depression,ADHD, and she's kinda helping me with my situation with my wife, too. She has been SO supportive. And yes, I have cried in her office a couple of times. That's not a bad thing.

If this is your first experience with a therapist, and it sounds like it is, keep an open mind. But remember, they are NOT in charge of you. In fact, they work for you, and if you find that you don't agree with what he/she is saying, or more importantly, the direction they are leading you, you can always stop seeing them and go to someone else. But be careful, just because they aren't telling you what you want to hear, doesn't necessarily mean they are out to "change" you. There's a difference. Sometimes the best outlooks are from others looking in. Give them an appointment or two, or three, and see how you feel about their advice, insights, and help. Good luck!!!

 

Professional therapists are someone you should be able to trust and explain your feelings. They should not be trying to dissuade you of anything but to help you sort your feelings out rather than tell you what you are.

 

I truly hope you will be comfortable with your therapist...remember that you dont have to agree with him/her. And if you are not comfortable...leave...they are only human ...and you dont have to judge yourself by how they judge you.
best wishes

 

Not sure if it was mentioned but gender dysphoria is a well documented and (should be) accepted diagnosis for a therapist to give and understand.
I'm a psychology major and it is a big deal if you are going around invalidating your patients. You shouldn't have to worry about having an enemy in a therapist

---------- Post added 22nd Aug 2016 at 02:31 PM ----------

Also, someone said drugs can't be prescribed for anything by a therapist-true. However, psychiatrists rely immensely on therapist suggestion to find a proper course of treatment and a therapist would be the first person to suggest those drugs. They often work in tandem with a describing doctor who just writes the Rx.
It makes things simpler.
BBUUTT! If you think you should maybe NOT take something? Don't do it. Flat out tell them you're not comfortable with it and you would rather do something else or seek a different opinion on the issue they want to prescribe for.
With all that being said, antidepressants aren't really that bad, you just get physically hooked. So. Withdrawals suck but that's because your body learns to work WITH them and it's a symbiotic relationship in your body sort of.
Anxiety medicine and narcotics are a different issue. Lithium, antipsychotics, anxiolytics, all those are something you should consider.

And if a therapist tries to tell you that being trans is immoral or that you should try to live as a girl and that you should essentially ignore your dysphoria then you need to report them because that is a serious problem with their practice and it is both immoral and unethical. They can get their license pulled for trying to get a patient to keep suffering on purpose because of personal convictions. Jsyk.

BUT! I've never met one. Never even heard of anyone who does that.
Your therapist is and should be your friend. So no stress! Have a good time at the appointment! Intakes suck. Do what you can to get something out of the therapist.

 

I'm glad you posted this thread. I'm going to see a therapist for the first time soon and I am extremely nervous. Hope everything goes well!

 

This is so wonderful to see that you have a new channel of communication opening up with your mom.

 

Congratulations! Sounds like you picked up an awesome therapist.

 

That's awesome!!

 

Great news to hear, GayPugs! Sounds like this therapist will be educating your mom more than helping you, since you are already comfortable with your identity!