OK, I'm going to be provocative here..... We are currently seeing Pride celebrated all over the Western World. Prime Ministers march, police march, military march, rainbow flags fly pretty much everywhere. Obviously this is amazing and wonderful, and sends out a strong message to the few remaining bigots, and countries who still punish those who are not "normal". I remember marching in London in the 80s. What a transformation in just 30 years. People were arrested. People were beaten up. Now it's a party everyone can go to, and many do. So why do I feel slightly uncomfortable with current Pride celebrations? I suppose I miss the excitement of feeling transgressive and a little dangerous, of being an outsider demanding to be acknowledged by society. We largely were marching for the legal changes that we have now achieved, and for the social acceptance that we appear to have (nearly) got. We wanted to be no longer treated as sexual weirdos, but just as people expressing themselves in the only way they could. And from our perspective as outsiders, we wanted society to see what we could see. To understand about the individuality of sexuality, and to celebrate it, to escape from the prison of "normality". I do wonder sometimes though if gay marriage and universal pride and the general move against homophobia and discrimination isn't a two edged sword - on one side it is worth celebrating being welcomed back into the human race in all our diversity, on the other, are we becoming "normal"? Are we walking back into another closet? Have we sanitised being gay? Is being gay all about rainbows and smiling drag queens and being family friendly? Is the politics of sexuality, which can sometimes threaten the established order, being lost? Have we, in fact, been allowed back in as a way of controlling us? Perhaps I am just a dinosaur. We all look back on our twenties as a time of excitement, growth, and experience. Am I now just a bit world weary, my attitudes outdated? Are those currently enjoying their youth fully embracing this growing acceptance by society?
to an extent. Yes. We're still not equal. And that is the key, I think. We are far from equal to cis-het people. We still have a way to go. However, our enemy is clever. Yes. This is what I believe. Of course it's not the whole answer - basically nothing is ever black or white once examined fully in my opinion - but this is a big part of it, I believe. It's like we're being cut a deal - we're allowed to be queer, but society tells us how to be queer. And this isn't a bad deal to a lot of people. In fact, it's preferable from a selfish perspective compared to fighting for equal rights to many. So that's what they do. "Case closed" is their attitude. I think it's really a shame. Give me more rioting parades, please, I want to be in one.
I totally agree. I try not to but I really kind of do miss the bad old days. Don't get me wrong--I still love Pride. I was very ill this year and had to miss it for the first time in 23 years and it just killed me. But it's not what it used to be. I mean, that's good. It's nice that a million people come to ours. It's nice that everyone seeking office feels they need to attend. It's nice that over a hundred churches usually march. It's nice that just about every major employer in the area marches. It's nice that the gay teachers and gay policemen march. It's nice that a lot of straight people and children want to come. It's nice that we are celebrating victories rather than just girding our loins for the next horrible defeat. But it's also a little boring. Don't get me wrong. It's still inspiring, but it doesn't have at all the same edge. The fact of the matter is that what it really needs is more drag queens and go go boys--and maybe some actual queer politics. It would be nice if it was a little more, well, gay. I guess the fact of the matter is that I'm not a very transgressive guy (any more). I'm an investment banker. My husband and I are married--Illinois actually voted in gay marriage, it wasn't even a court decision. My Mormon family adores him and his Baptist family can't get enough of me. We own a home in the secondary gay neighborhood. I haven't encountered any significant offline homophobia in years. Don't get me wrong--that's awesome and I wouldn't turn back the clock, but it is nice to get to feel a bit transgressive from time to time... And face it, there's still plenty to fight for, if we ever stop resting on our laurels..
Here's my take on this, and take it with a grain of salt considering that I've never participated in Pride. I understand that there is a part of human nature that revels in being edgy and subversive, but usually the thrill from such desires is fast and fleeting. Certainly no lasting value comes from such transitory feelings. Whenever we commit ourselves to a cause, it is vital to ask ourselves exactly why we are committed to that cause in the first place. If all we get out of it is a gratification of some transgressive need to be edgy or rebellious, then maybe we need to reexamine our relationship to that cause. If people who marched in Pride are not overjoyed by the current societal acceptance of gay marriage, then I think that is a serious cause for concern. OP, you also said that you fear being gay will be viewed as boringly normal now, but what more could you want than that? Would it not offend you if someone labeled you as abnormal because you were gay? I would think it would. So then if so, shouldn't normalcy be the prime focus? Being normal should not be considered a detriment to a happy life.
I live in Australia. We are not remotely equal. Right now, as I type this, we are awaiting our election results to find out which party is leading our country. Liberals- we face a damaging non binding plebiscite to see if the majority of Australians are in favour of marriage equality. This will include money being handed by the government to hate groups who will place billboards where our children will be told we are pedophiles and dangerous and sick and unfit to look after our children. Hundreds of millions of dollars spent for a plebiscite that the members of parliament can ignore if they choose to. Labor- marriage equality legislation before the parliament within 100 days. Do we need pride in Australia? Hell yes. Not withstanding the mardi gras...the rest of the pride events here are everyday people fighting for our rights. In my country...we are no where near being accepted. Do I want to be seen as a "normal" member of society? Yes. It honestly pisses me off that we should ever feel the need to tell anyone about our sexuality. The day when that is not seen as necessary is a day I will celebrate!!!
Hunter8, I (actually) agree to some extent. If the only value of our protests is a lingering subjective attachment to "the good old days" - then is there really much value in that? Well, hmm, I would say there is. However, since the initial intention of Pride was equal rights, if we're no longer fighting for that, but marching as if to honor an old ritual, then the ritual has meaning - but what of the fight? Some deem it irrelevant. Rather than saying only yay or nay, however, I do think a re-evaluation of the role of the Pride/queer rights movement is in order. For example, if one lives comfortably as an openly queer person now, what one can do if one doesn't feel the need to fight for oneself very much, is to take a look at the needs of others. Our rights have been advanced here in the West and in many other places, but that is not the case everywhere in the world. Some countries, like Japan, may benefit from, like, a bit of a push. Others could benefit from even more help; in particular ex-British colonies in Africa such as Uganda, and other countries such as Iran, could need help, for example with queer people fleeing their countries out of fear or threat of persecution. ---------- Post added 5th Jul 2016 at 03:12 PM ---------- @Distant Echo Thanks for that information, I'll be cheering for you! :newcolor::thewave:
Thanks Invidia. The election was Saturday and is so damn close it could be some time before we know. And we how have members of the Liberal party trying to stifle all mention of marriage equality at all. Now, we don't want the plebiscite...it will be horrific. But we have members of the Liberal party so set on stopping marriage equality at all costs.... I honestly have no idea how to protect my kids if the plebiscite goes ahead. Pride is so damn important here. The fight is far from over.
Hey Distant Echo! Please don't think that I am not fully aware of the struggles in your country, or in many others. Of course, visibility, and winning "hearts and minds" are still really important even in the UK. We seem to be lucky at the moment, in that the general mood of the country has swung in our favour, and bigotry is generally no longer acceptable - except...we have had a rise in racist abuse since Brexit, and it is only a few years since the fight over the repeal of section 28, which got pretty unpleasant. Our progress needs constant reaffirmation, and pride is a part of that. I was only putting a point of view. Many of us over here follow developments in Australia with interest, and I'm sure many peoples' thoughts are with you. I understood the popular vote looked promising - but polls get it wrong, as we know to our cost. It would be awesome if it was passed though - and I'm sure it will be in the near future. In the meantime, keep safe and strong.
And here I thought I was the only one who felt that way. (Yay, confirmation bias!) Granted, I wasn't around during the 80s, but who doesn't like the idea of being the underdog against the clear-cut bad guys? That's not really the case anymore, since being pro-LGBT seems to be the more popular opinion. As the years go by, celebrating gay pride feels more and more like beating a dead horse. It's come to the point where people are saying "We get it already." Which is good because that's pretty much the end goal, but potentially problematic if the LGBT community (for a lack of better words) evolves into a bigger problem than the people they were against, or the cause gets hijacked by someone trying to fulfill an agenda. I guess I can only speak for my own country. Obviously there's still other countries that have a long way to go.
There is still homophobia in the world. We are still fighting for not only equal rights, but also so that people think of us as equals. Homophobia not nearly as extreme as you faced, but homophobia none the less.
