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Positive things

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by baristajedi, Nov 5, 2015.

  1. baristajedi

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    I just wanted to share a little with you guys about where things stand now.

    I'm feeling pensive but positive.

    My husband is being so receptive and showing so much real effort in not only accepting my orientation but thinking about ways to enjoy it together, and even wanting to improve other areas in our marriage.

    It's quite a relief. I finally feel like he accepts me, really fully. This is not to say that everything is perfect or that I expect it to be easy. It will require effort and communication for us to maintain a healthy marriage even if we do find that we are sure we can be happy together. That of course may not be the case, there may still come a time where we reach an impasse, where I feel I need to be with a woman in ways my husband can't accept, maybe even build a life with a woman, or there may come a time where he doesn't feel comfortable with my needs.

    But I'm staring to feel I can be at peace with that outcome if it happens that way because I think we are both willing to put in the work to at least try to forge our way forward together.

    I feel now that I can finally begin my exploration of me, with a less clouded path. This can be about finding myself without the added weight of worry about impending marital doom, or total failure as a wife.

    I feel like soon I can start to really find joy and fun in this journey. I feel good about so many things already, coming out, discovering a new way of expressing and representing me, starting to reach out to community, enjoying the feeling of my desires rather than pushing them away, discovering how enjoyable it is to notice women that I often would turn away from in the past.

    I am not in a joyful place yet, but I'm in a positive place. I'm pensive and introspective. But I see good things and I'm anticipating interesting things to come while I explore my sexuality and my identity.

    I just want to share this with you all, because you've been so supportive in helping me get this far. It's just the beginning, but it really does feel like so much has already changed!

    PS (&&&)(&&&)(&&&)
     
    #1 baristajedi, Nov 5, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2015
  2. lilla

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    That's awesome, thanks for sharing!! :grin: Sending you positive thoughts!
     
  3. fenestra

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    Awww...I loved reading this! This is what marriage should be; accepting and respecting one another's journeys. You're right, it will be difficult but I hope you find what you're looking for and your marriage can thrive not despite it but because of it. That's love. :slight_smile:
     
  4. CapColors

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    Good job! That's awesome.
     
  5. baristajedi

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    Thanks, you guys (*hug*)!
     
  6. Distant Echo

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    Oh I so hope this works for you:thumbsup:

    (!):eusa_danc(!):eusa_danc
     
  7. zgirl81

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    Yes! I'm so glad for you! I've also had this moment, about 2 years ago with my husband. It gets easier and easier every day for him to understand me and what I'm talking about.

    (*hug*) Yay!