Hey everyone, So what are people's experiences working with anxiety while in a relationship with someone (we're exclusive)? I dont have a ton of relationship experience, though I'd consider myself to be pretty open and easy to communicate with. Talking about anxieties is more difficult though (and jealousy). My anxieties stem from a couple different things and I'm really trying to just breathe and let go as much as possible (I recognize and want my partner to live his life), but these things still pop up here and there. -Anxiety about being cheated on (which I logically highly doubt will ever happen) or left for another. Generally being left I guess. :eusa_doh: -I guess this ties in with jealousy. Maybe it's my own self body image, but not feeling physically good enough/adequate/attractive. I notice my partner expresses some of this himself and I'm struggling with how to validate him. (*hug*) Sometimes when I see my partner chatting with someone who falls into his attraction range, I get a little pang of jealousy, which is annoying. (!) Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm just trying to get practice at expressing how I actually feel about some of these things. :icon_redf Would really love to hear what people have to say. Thank you
I know what you mean. Jealousy in a relationship always sucks... but it's not something that will go away (at least not completely). A little bit of jealousy can be healthy, actually, as that means you value the person and you don't want them to leave. I feel like what you need to focus on is yourself for a bit, and try to figure out why it is that you have low self esteem. Is there a specific part of yourself that you hate? Do you feel like you don't get validated for your attractiveness?
Thanks. I agree with the jealousy bit. So far with this person, it has been way less. When I've just breathed and did my best to just trust in them, it has usually subsided (whats great about this is that their words and actions haven't caused any red flags). One thing that i logically understand and agree with is that just because you are "with" someone, doesn't mean you can't appreciate other people and aesthetic beauty, etc. Even though I think and know that, the internal emotions can still simmer sometimes, especially if I think that my partner thinks that someone is attractive in my presence. Its new turf for me. Everyone has their own little qualms about their appearance, whether it be wanting different shaped eyebrows, being a different weight or shape, etc. I'm a pretty thin person, and even though I feel pretty comfortable in my body most of the time, I sometimes feel like I dont match the socialized standards for body weight and tone (my partner used to be a personal trainer a while back. I think he's a bit self conscious due to his weight gain). I'm pretty active, but one thing that I've promised myself is that I should only go and gain weight in a gym if it is what i want to do, not as a means to fit societal standards. Anyway, there are my of my feels lol.
I think jealousy and anxiety can be toxic to a relationship if you dont confront it. Don't do what I did. I had these sort of feelings with the only person i ever fell in love with and it destroyed a short relationship. Admitting your insecurities can be a very hard thing to do. Admitting them to someone you are petrified to lose is seemingly impossible but i promise you if you don't, you'll regret it. In my opinion from experience a relationship can only function with trust and honesty and even then they may not work out but you'll feel much more regret if you're not honest. So yeah my advice is instead of conveying these issues to EC (or as well as) tell them to him! he'll have the answer and you may be pleasantly surprised with his response Good Luck! x
ohhhhhhhhhhhh I totally understand. its the worst feeling ever, I've always tried to internalise it as much as possible (not to friends) because i find telling them freaks them out hahah also try not to play games to sooth your fear, makes things worse xo.
