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Homophobic reactions from parents family.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Chromedome, Nov 27, 2014.

  1. Chromedome

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Northern Americas
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Can you guys share the opinions and reactions you have gotten from your parents and family to the idea the you may be gay/bi?

    In my case my day basically said they over his years and experiencing with meeting and interacting with people ( he's college educated) that he concludes that gay men are too lazy and weak to deal with women and their nagging and demands and child bearing; to get sex, and just bored guys who have nothing to do with their time, that say, " getting a girlfriend is hard, we are guys and already friends so it's much easier to have sex in the butt with each-other than get a woman."

    He equates a homosexual/bisexual to someone who is bored and starts a new hobby that becomes a habit, or starts to take ecstasy, smokes cigarettes, marijuana and takes cocaine out of curious and for excitement and the 'rush' but then get addicted and can't stop. Plus he seems to focus primarily on his disgust with anal sex, how could i do that, why am i attracted to anal sex, he thinks homosexual= analsexuality and seems to have more interest in anal sex than I do, sends me e-mails about the dangers of anal sex, talks about how gross it is and how could someone put it in their mind to do that.

    He also thinks that gay people have sex and leave and asks me what will i do after sex, how i'm gonna be promiscuous and gay people never love the person they are with and form relationships, just have one night stands, their only goal is to achieve orgasm. He cannot fathom the idea of same sex romance it seems.

    While in fact i never want to do anal sex EVER, its looks and seems painful to me, takes too much preparation, and unhealthy, I have 0 interest in it.

    To me this is like a university professor stand in front a room of students and saying," My name is professor blah and I know that all pigs have huge wings with feathers and fly, and everyone else who disagrees is either crazy or an idiot and is obviously not as smart as I am and till the day I die I will hold my stance."
     
  2. Albion

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hey! I'm in the same boat. It's not fun, right?
    When I try to explain to my mom that same sex love isn't just...sex, she cuts me off and goes for another topic. Then when I wear my brother's clothes and say I might like boy's clothing better, she freaks out and says "But, you're a girl!" I have a feeling she's never questioned herself. -_-'''
    I'm not sure but I'm definitly questioning and when I said to my mom that I wanted to cut my hair short like a boy and she said "People will think you're a boy or a lesbian!"
    I said "I would be fine with that."
    She got nervous and shut the conversation down. But, man, your dad sounds off the charts, I mean geez...

    ---------- Post added 5th Dec 2014 at 06:47 PM ----------

    Hey! I'm in the same boat. It's not fun, right?
    When I try to explain to my mom that same sex love isn't just...sex, she cuts me off and goes for another topic. Then when I wear my brother's clothes and say I might like boy's clothing better, she freaks out and says "But, you're a girl!" I have a feeling she's never questioned herself. -_-'''
    I'm not sure but I'm definitly questioning and when I said to my mom that I wanted to cut my hair short like a boy and she said "People will think you're a boy or a lesbian!"
    I said "I would be fine with that."
    She got nervous and shut the conversation down. But, man, your dad sounds off the charts, I mean geez...
     
  3. MilansMele

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Honolulu, Hawaii
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My mother just didn't want to discuss it, and over the short term refused to acknowledge it.

    Over the long term, she has grown to accept that I am gay and her stereotypes of gay people have fallen by the wayside as she has gotten to know and love (very much!) my partner.

    With unaccepting parents, from my experience, it takes time, patience and a certain amount of stoicism. No amount of explaining is going to change their opinion on the spot. If they have a moderate amount of awareness, understanding will evolve over time.

    Just hang in there.

    ~Milan
     
  4. whereamigoing

    Full Member

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    Location:
    stepping out of the closet
    The first person i told was my grandma and she said "i know, I've known" and was good with it
    i wad forced to come out to my mom after a bad situation happened and she refused to accept it saying "i just want you to be sure" she's come to accept it, but wnts me to hide in the closet forever. she also told my dad who while i didn't want to know says he's fine witg it, he jusr doesn't understand it. He also told my stepmom and we haven't even talked about it. So my family has been alright but my biggest fears are my homophobic republican gun toting stepdad and my other overly christian certifiably crazy grandmother.