Well hi everyone So for starters I've only been with girls before. Nothing too serious, I believe the longest relationship I have was 4 months. Anywho about a month ago a new guy started working with me. I thought he was a total babe. About a week after he started working I found out he was gay and single. After I began being around him more I started flirting up a storm. He returned with more flirting. Over the next couple weeks I developed a crush on him and was planning on telling him. Sad part is he lost his job before I was able to tell him to his face. I would like to get to know him more. I would possibly like to go out on a date or hang out or something. I guess the question would be, what should I do? I mean I have his number but I don't want him to think of me as a creeper or something for randomly trying contact him outside of work. I'm lost in this new adventure
Hi there, and welcome to EC! While he was working with you, did you get a chance to get to know him somewhat? I think it would be perfectly alright for you to call him up and ask him if he wants to hang out. You don't have to mention anything about wanting him to date or wanting to go on a date at this point. Once you get together with him, say over a coffee, and you feel you want to ask him directly, ask him if he would be up for or interested in going on a date with you then.
Welcome to EC! It sounds like you hit it off pretty well. So, given that, I wouldn't see any harm in contacting him. I personally think a phone call rather than a text message would be the way to go. Even better, if you can frame your call along the lines of some sort of activity, that'd be great. For instance, maybe you found out you both were fans of horror movies, or art exhibits, or punk bands. Then you might call him up and invite him to see the latest horror film, or art exhibit or punk show. You don't need that device to fall back on, but it might make the invite a bit less awkward. Lex
I don't think you have to worry about him getting a creeper vibe if you do like the others are suggesting and keep the initial plan to get together limited to just hanging out or doing something fun you both enjoy.
>>While he was working with you, did you get a chance to get to know him somewhat? Just a little bit, nothing to go off of just yet. It would probably be best to get to know him a bit more before I ask him out. >>I personally think a phone call rather than a text message would be the way to go. I agree, texting can be awkward when it comes to invites. I"ll call him tomorrow and ask if he wants to get some coffee or hang out. Hopefully everything works out. Thank you so much for your help, its appreciated very much
Hi there! I think that's a great way to go about it. Get to know him a bit better. As you get to know him better you will see if there is potential for something to happen down the road.
No such luck today. :dry: I called and left a message. No response. I resorted to texting him and he usually responds quickly, but nothing. I'm afraid he is ignoring/avoiding me. I was in such high spirits when I called him, but now I'm just wondering...
So basically I was stood up. :/ He finally got back to me and we decided to grab a bite to eat during lunch. Well he never showed and he is back to ignoring/avoiding me. I've decided that if he doesn't have the dignity to let me know he won't make it, or even return my call, he isn't worth my time. (Even though it will be hard doing so; he is the only thing I think about anymore :dry
Aww that sucks (*hug*) I hate when people don't let you know if they are going to be late or not coming
It's remotely possible he's simply flaky. From what I hear from the people I talk to, a LOT of people in their teens and early 20s are incredibly flaky (comes from being self-absorbed, i think). So it might be worth one last text or email just to say "Hey, if you honestly spaced or got tied up and want to try again, I'm game, but if you're just not interested, that's cool too. It would be nice to know either way, but I'll take a non-response as a show of non-interest." It sucks that your first endeavor in meeting a guy has been a disappointment like this, but I promise it will get better. And good on you for having the guts to approach him in the first place! That's half the battle. It sounds like accepting the fact that you like guys in that way hasn't been a big deal for you, which is also really great... but feel free to check in here with anything that comes up for you, or hit up me or any of the other advisor team if you want to talk to someone in a less public setting. Please do keep us up to date on what happens
Hi there! Sorry to hear that he never showed up. (*hug*) I agree with Chip though that if you wanted to give it one more try text or e-mail him and ask him what Chip mentioned. Maybe there he has a reason as to why he didn't show up. If nothing happens or you don't get an answer, maybe try looking at it this way: He missed an opportunity to get to know you. It's his loss. You have every reason to be proud of yourself though. As Chip already mentioned, you took a chance and a risk. You have tried to get to know him. That's half the battle. I know it can be hard to realize that at first but as you move on from what happened, that realization and awareness will come. (*hug*)
Well I tried one last time. And nothing. Oh well. I'm totally over it As Mirko said it will be his loss. It still makes me wonder what happened for him to completely ignore me? I mean we were hitting it off really well, then it was as if he fell off the face of the planet. But whatever I shall look at this as a learning curve Thanks everyone for all the help and the concern. This such an amazing place. I couldn't ask for better support :3
I find the most people can't face up to other now a days. People are so ridiculous. They can't return phone calls or texts and they can NEVER face you and talk to you...yet they may be able to write on your facebook, etc. I just think the when people aren't interested they don't have the cojones to face up to that person and inform them of that. It sucks, but it happens a lot. Don't take it too personally...it also shows you that he was NOT worth your time if he doesn't have the respect to tell you how he feels.
