I came home from school today and my mom told me that an anonymous 'concerned parent' called my house and told my mom that she reads everything I post on Facebook and Tumblr and she thinks I'm depressed. She said that my mom should look at what I'm posting and put me in therapy. According to her, my Tumblr is full of death threats, hit lists, porn, and depression? I don't even know where she gets that. My mom went through the past two months of my Facebook profile and everything I've ever posted on Tumblr. This is really bad because there's alot about me my mom doesn't know, and all of that is on my Tumblr because no one really goes on there... My mom didn't know that I'm atheist, vegetarian, more attracted towards girls, she didn't know I had a girlfriend over the summer or that this girlfriend broke my heart and made me want to cut myself, she didn't know that I hate my brother, or that I think all of my parents rules are bullshit. She knows now... She had me delete everything on my Tumblr about my ex, family, anything that could be considered 'depressing'. I'm most likely being forced into therapy and eing put on anti-depressants that I don't need. I'm not depressed, I don't cut myself, and I don't kill people like the 'concerned parent' thinks. I'm also most likely being put on insomnia medication, which is terrible for me. I love my insomnia, its a part of me. At night when everyone else is sleeping is the only time I get a chance to really think, and thats how I have all my crazy theories on life and deep thoughts about everything. Its what I live off of. Without that I'm a mindless piece of worthless nothing, just like everyone I know. I can't let that happen. I'm freaking out now. I've never liked being open with my family or ayone other than my best friends, who are the only ones that understand my crazy insomniatic mind. I don't want to be in therapy, on medication, or like everyone else in my town. What should I dooooooo? Thank you if you actually read this, any feedback is appreciated. I probably seem insane at parts here, but that's just because I am. Keep that in mind?
The "concerned parent" did you a huge favor, even if you can't see it now. You do need some help, although whether you need depression meds or insomnia meds is for a professional to determine. In my opinion, it was over the line to have you delete posts on your own personal Tumblr site, but the intent was pure. You may, in fact, be depressed, and *everyone* can benefit from therapy, so rather than resisting it, I'd welcome it, because it's a great opportunity that a lot of people your age would kill to have available to them. Sure, things are exaggerated in the "concerned parent's" mind, but that doesn't matter. What does is that your mom knows you are having a tough time with some things and wants to help. Another thing to consider: You're 15. Everyone at 15 wants to be able to individuate themselves, to be different. The way you do that is not by being an insomniac. Insomnia is NOT a positive thing, sleep is really important for everyone, but particularly for people of your age. That said, you may not need sleep meds to sleep, you may just need a good therapist to help you understand yourself better and to learn some things you can do to calm yourself so you can sleep better. I know that it seems like everything is awful right now, but I think if you wait for a while and go with what your mom is trying to set up, you'll thank her later.
Let me tell you that insomnia is not good. A close friend and former roommate had it bad and started hallucinating until he was certain that our upstairs neighbour was spying on us with surveillance bugs and called the cops... that ended well but it took him like year to recover.
I know it seems really stupid. But I'm not depressed, and I get enough sleep. I'm never tired. Its just like I need less sleep than most. I'm pefectly fine I think, and I think my mother is blowing this way out of proportion. Whatever though, I dont think there's much I can do.
Okay, so here's my two cents. My mom is a big hater of facebook, and won't even let me have one anymore. When she found out I did have one without her knowledge (this was about a year ago now), she read through everything on my wall, questioning it as she went along. Of course there's going to be things on there you don't want your parents to read...that's why you put them there instead of talking about them to your parents I'm sure she had good intent having you delete everything, but it really wasn't fair to you. All you were doing was expressing your emotions, and isn't that supposed to be a good thing? To be honest, I'm not really sure what I would do in your situation. If you feel strongly enough about it, don't let them give you the medication. Do your best to keep what you believe intact, cause that's an important thing to do in life. I hope everything turns out well, and I'm here if you need someone to vent to --Matt
A little update. I had to delete my entire tumblr account, and I'm being forced into giving my mom my facebook password so she can check in on it every so often. Ughh, I can't even talk to my friends in private messages now? I'm trying to convince her to just have her go on my brother's and look at my public profile there. Blahh this whole situation is so stupid.
I think your mom is just worried about you. It may seem like she's being cruel and only wants to mess with your life, but that's not the case. I went through a situation similar to yours when I was around your age. I think my mom was more upset about the fact that I was hiding so much from her and she only wanted to be closer to me. I know that not all kids have supportive parents. My mom doesn't necessarily like the fact that I'm an Atheist and she wasn't exactly a happy camper when I told her that I am a lesbian, but she was happy that I was honest with her. If your mom didn't care, she wouldn't take steps to attempt to get you help. . . .made me want to cut myself That statement would worry me if I was a parent reading my child's blog posts or Facebook posts. Actually, anything about bodily harm would worry me. And like others have stated, insomnia is not a good thing. Sleep deprivation has a strong correlation with mediocre academic performance and more susceptibility to illnesses, and it impairs your ability to pay attention.
She knows that I don't cut myself and that I haven't in a year. That was me being the dramatic little bitch I am. I was so stupidly heartbroken by that girl, but I would never cut myself over her. I obviously realize now that it was a mistake to say that, and my mom just isn't getting that. And as for insomnia, I know its not really healthy but I work perfectly fine on less sleep than most. I get all A's in school, I can focus pretty well, and I rarely get sick... I dont know
So here's what I think: Tell your mom that deleting your tumblr will not take those "bad" feelings away, but instead bottle them up until you explode. That should make her rethink about deleting it. As for facebook, if you can't convince her that you need privacy, maybe see if your soon-to-be-therapist can. Everyone deserves privacy. If your therapist agrees with your mom, well then you gotta go along with it. As for therapy, just try it out. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, could use some therapy. What's the worst that could happen??? And just remember that your mom is doing this because she's worried about you and because she cares about you.
Is therapy going to happen? Do you get any say in who you talk with? You could possibly end up with someone cool who will listen to you. That person might be able to help bridge the communication chasm between you and your mom. Here's hoping for you.
Its still unsure if therapy is actually happening yet, I think its leaning towards no now, which is good. And I absolutely hate the thought of therapy for some odd reason, I really don't know why, but I just hate thinking about going. There's still a chance that I will be forced to go though. I told my mom that if I ever feel the need to go I'll tell her, so she shouldn't force me now. I'm not sure if that made any difference with her.
that is insane! why would your own mum force you to give her your password? my parents would never think of something like that, privacy, helloooo?! i'd honestly just tell her that your facebook account is none of her business whatsoever, you can promise her that you won't give out any personal data like where you live, age, full name and that you won't talk to random strangers, i get that. but seriously, i wouldn't ever give out my password to anyone that i dont want to give it to. and my parents would certainly not be the people i'd give it to.
I generally don't advocate lying to parents, but in this case, your mom is being way too in your business and trying to have too much intrusion into your privacy. So here's my suggestion: Create a facebook that's completely private. Set it so you aren't found in searches. Link your friends through that. Don't tell your mom about it. And keep the one you have now. Then you have your "real" facebook, the one that's secret, and the one your mom knows about. She sees an innocuous facebook that says very little about anything, you still get to vent to your friends.
I'll definitely keep this in mind if things get any worse. As of right now, I got her to make her own Facebook and she added me, but she still wants to know my password. I gave it to her, and immediately changed it along with all my other passwords to everything, and I'm putting a password on my desktop for my laptop just in case. If she tries to log on to my facebook, then I'm gonna do what you said. I'm hoping it won't come to that though...
