Now that I am going away to University my auntie wants me to add her on facebook but my intrested in is down as women and I'm part of a few gay groups and she doesn't know. I'm thinking i'll just change and deleted all this stuff and add her but I feel really bad about it and reluctant to do it. I don't know what to do. Any ideas? And no i don't want to come out to her. Maybe if you could just convince me it's ok to change all that stuff - that would be nice lol and would make it soooooo much easier.
It says on your profile that your parents know - are they unsupportive? I feel that it would be a shame to have to change who you are on your facebook page for your aunt. Could you just let her on and not say anything about your group memberships or statuses? Or how about explain to her that your Facebook is really for your friends and can sometimes get a bit silly (bc of your friends) so you would rather keep family off? I don't know if any of those suggestions help, but I can tell you that I don't let my parents on my facebook because there are just some things they don't need to know about! I am of the belief that we don't have to share everything with everyone, and with Facebook we might need to be a little more vigilent about who we allow on to our site. Also, you might want to check your privacy settings with Facebook because I know they have made some recent changes to their privacy policy and this allows random people to have access to things like photos unless you specify otherwise. Good luck with this! Alison
dont add her... both of my parents have FB and I told them when they made accounts that I wasnt going to be friends with them on facebook.... just say you need your privacy
You can block certain parts of your profile from certain people in privacy. That could stop her seeing the interested in.
I personally just created a Facebook account specifically for my family. That way, my parents won't find out. Even though the rest of my family are fine with it, I just keep them all on that account so as to prevent my mom from seeing the interested in: men. Just yet anyway...
Do you have various friends lists that you put people on? Like al imited profile? My Limited profile lets those people see: my profile picture, my gender, my bday, my sex, my family, my fav music, my favourite tv shows, my fan pages etc. It does not let them see: most of my pictures, my Interested In Status, my other friends, my wall posts, my status updates, my pictures I'm tagged in, my phone number. You have to go to your friends list, make new lists-> go to the friends in your friend list that you want to be included in this list and click "add to blah blah list". Then go to your Account Privacy and fiddle around with it. And when you add a new friend, click which list you want them to be a part of, if you'll let them have full access to your profile, partial access or little to no access to seeing your things. I add most of my fellow highschool students, and some family and people I don't know to my Limited Profile. I haven't added mom to my profile because she likes to sift through everything on my profile and it drives me nuts when she messages me asking why I put certain things on there or post statuses etc. The rest I trust go to my full profile. hope that helps.
Right well I figured out how to stop her seeing my interested in but couldn't find a way to stop her seeing what pages and groups I was part of so i deleted them but that's not so much of a big deal but if anyone knows a way to do that please tell becasue I wouldn't mind adding them again.
Maybe I approach these things differently, but I have no problem not adding people to facebook. I figure if I have something there I don't want you to see, we're not that close. But that's me. Lex
But we are close aside from that one thing, I honestly don't think she would have a probelm with it but my parents reaction to me coming out to them destroyed pretty much all confidence I have in telling anyone else in my family.
It surprises me how many people don't use the privacy settings. I'm FB friends with a few older people who I've met through politics, who are in their forties or older. I've created a group, Older Friends, and excluded information on relationships from them, and sometimes exclude a post from them as well, if I think the discussion is likely to be silly. It's not that I don't want them to know I'm gay, I'm openly gay on my blog, which is under my name and linked on my FB and Twitter pages, and I've had a letter published in one the national papers on civil partnerships. It's more that if I was with someone, and declared this on Facebook in an "In a Relationship with" way, I wouldn't necessarily want to tell them about this. People use Facebook and social networking for different purposes. One is the general chat with friends, one is catching up with old friends and contacts, and one is semi-professional networking. Be aware of this, and use the privacy settings accordingly. I think you should let family know that you're gay in person, rather than them knowing through Facebook. It's for this reason that I really think you should hide that info from her. Don't worry too much about groups and fan pages. No one actually sees all those except when you join/add them first (and you can hide that info from your feed), unless they're in a particularly stalking mood. And, I know a lot of straight friends of mine who are members of pro-marriage equality groups.
If you really don't think she'd have a problem with it, and your parents already know, I don't see why you shouldn't add her, and let her find out that way then. Lex
