Okay, so a few years before I came out to my parents *the first people*, I started working out. I was living on my own, and just decided that if I didnt take the initative to work out and eat better, I would never do it. I made some progress, but not much. my diet was crap, and I was learning as I went. when I moved home, it was a year before I came out, and I kept my working out up for a bit, but my diet was worse, as my parents do the shopping, and it is hard to keep a good diet when you have to eat what someone else buys. So, I come out, and I feel more confident. when I moved back out of my parents house, I decided to take back up working out, and this time, my knowledge was better on nutrition, so I focused on eating right and cleaner right from the begining. I have been working out generally steady for a year now, and have put on 25 pounds, with about 15 or so of that being muscle. Should I be worried about the fact that when I started, I had a picture of what I wanted to get to body wise, which was still lean, but with some muscle so that I wasnt just rail thin. I now look lean and muscular, but all of a sudden, I just feel like it is not enough. now I want to try to pack on another 15 pounds of muscle over the next year, and I just get the urge to be bigger, as if I caught some metaphorical bug, and now I feel like I will never been big enough. Am I becoming too vain? I was 135 pounds when I started working out again, and now hover around 160 pounds. I am 6'3", so 160 is still skinnyish. now I am looking at being 175-185, and I am just worried that I am getting addicted to weight training.
I doubt you have anything to worry about. You're not approaching 'Mr. Universe' proportions yet. And as long as your working out isn't interfering with your school or work or personal relations, I don't think you're addicted. I'm the same way, only working in reverse. I've lost about 40lbs but I'm pretty sure I could stand to lose another 10. I'm OK with where I am right now, and it is vanity that's causing me to contemplate losing another 10lbs. But it's vanity - not an addiction or an eating disorder. I say - good for you! Go for it!
I dont want to be mr. universe. You cant get a body like that without steroids, but the more muscle I pack on, the more obsessed I seem to be getting with it. Like now, if I dont work out three times a week, I feel like I am failing, and kick myself. Like right now, I have 2 sections of math homework to finish, and nearly done with one of them, and a voice in my head wont shut up about how I need to get these dones so I can work out tonight. but then again, I hate math, so doing anything other than math is heaven to me.
Hmm. I know you and I may have different takes on a few things, but i respect that. being aware of yourself and your motivations is an awesome talent that isn't always natural. I would encourage you, for what its worth, to continue to watch your behavior and your motivations. Since you enjoy working out, in the long run you want to be able to enjoy that activity. Obsession, if that word can be used, may in time suck the fun out of it. Maybe you would consider channeling your work out activity in different ways, and defeat the "add on" demon that way. Maybe a pal would take you rock climbing, or mountain climbing, or road or mountain biking, or swimming (yuck - chlorine). Maybe try a sprint triathlon, or an adventure race in the woods. Oregon has so much beauty in all parts of the state. Or, stick with weight lifting, and enter some competitions. (yum- the look and feel of oily, shaved skin!) Maybe the point is, that especially as men we tend to be goal=orientated. Weight lifting seems to offer a limited goal: Lift More! And that's prolly just fine if the outcome is consistent with who you want to be. Good luck, and sorry for the on-and-on-and-on. Cheers.
ugh, bodybuilders in competitions look creepy. like they tan themselves orange, slather up in oil, and shave their heads. It just looks really bad. Also, not particualrly competitive. I just never felt the urge until recently, after seeing the changes my body have been going through over a year of focused excercise, to have as much muscle as I can. I started, hoping to make my enlarged ribcage less noticable but filling out other areas, and now that I went from skinny to looking like I have muscle on my frame, it is like now I cant get enough, and want to see if I can really pack it on. I spent 25 years not being vain, and really caring how I looked because I was always teased for being tall and thin, and made fun of for just looking different. now, all of a sudden, I am feeling completely opposate of what I lived for most all of my life. It was just such a change in additude that it startled me, i guess.
I think it's fantastic that you're looking after yourself, and you should never have to feel guilty about that. Personal improvement is a good thing! It's also a sign of increasing self-confidence, which is never a bad thing. Keep it up!
I could've written two of the paragraphs in this thread. Like Jim, I've dropped 40 pounds, and I'm trying to lose ten more. And like you, Emb, if ever I miss a day of exercising - or even just have some spare time near the end of the day - I think "I really need to do some (more) exercising". Lex
Well, you're 2 inches taller than me and 25 lbs lighter than me, so if you need to pack on a few more, I say go for it. I'm an "ex-athlete", so I don't quite have that lean body anymore (read=fatass). I've been trying to get as muscular as I can too. When I was rowing, I got just a little bit more muscle, but I got a lot leaner, which was not necessarily what I wanted. Now that I'm done, I lift a lot more and try and pack on muscle while doing cardio mayyyyybe 2x a week, cuz it just seems to make me smaller. I'm def carrying a little extra weight though. I'd say lifting is the way to go to gain weight. Good luck man!
You've caught the iron bug. I too am weirdishly obssessed with lifting and getting big. I started out at 135 pounds at 6 foot and am now 193 at 6'1". Same leanness...and i'm about to cut to ~180 so i'll be around 10% then. There's nothing wrong with lifting and enjoying it...its healthy and for me its relieves stress. Breaking a personal record on a lift feels amazing and just smashing weights feels good. I don't know what it is, but it's addicting. If i was planning on going to the gym and I dont get to go i get pissed. hah...oh well, i love it.
Don't let it startle you. You're doing just fine. I feel the same way. I spent 35 years of my life not being vain because I didn't feel I could be. I was embarassed about how I looked. I really didn't like taking my shirt off because I was always a little (and recently more than a little) heavy. Having lost this weight and working out, I've got a bit of a physique going, and I'm loving it! I want to keep working on it. Sure, I look WAY better than I did before, but I know I can look even better - so why not?!? I am almost to the point where I'm ready to take my shirt off the next time we go dancing on a Saturday night. I'm not going to be as hot or sexy as the 20-somethings on the dance floor, but I'm going to look better than I've ever looked in my life - and my boyfriend thinks I look great - so that's all that matters!
>>>Don't let it startle you. You're doing just fine. I feel the same way. I spent 35 years of my life not being vain because I didn't feel I could be. I was embarassed about how I looked. I really didn't like taking my shirt off because I was always a little (and recently more than a little) heavy. I was taking out the garbage yesterday, which involves going through an alley. As I turned a corner, I snagged my shirt on a nail sticking out of a telephone pole, and ripped it open. It was an old shirt, so after staring at it for a second, I said "Fuck it", ripped it completely off my body, tossed it in the trash can, and continued on. Had that happened last year, I MAY have done the same thing. But it was more fun doing it now. Lex
