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Could this be rape?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dancingqueen79, Jun 27, 2008.

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  1. dancingqueen79

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    Me and my other gay friend were alone in my room, watching TV, when he ran his hand up my leg, i said "Stop" but he wouldn't listen, he moved it further up my leg, then he pushed me down and...opened my pants and started having sex with me with one hand over my mouth...after he left I couldn't move, I felt like i was dunked in ice water. When my bf heard he got really mad, and he tried to comfort me but I'm afraid of him touching me after the incident, and i'm scared and nervous about telling my parents.:help:
     
  2. TeeJers

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    Yes this is rape. Please find someone to talk to about this. This is very serious.
     
  3. Mirko

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    Yes, it is rape. You said stop! But he didn't. It is important that you talk to someone about it (such as a counselor) who can help you in dealing with what you have gone through. It's good that you have told this to your boyfriend. But I think you should also tell this to your parents (if you can) and the proper authorities. How old is your gay friend?
     
  4. Trumpetplyer23

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    Yeah. That's definately rape. As soon as you say stop, they're supposed to stop, any further action they take is considered rape.

    I'd definately tell someone you trust, that guy needs to get in trouble, or else he'll just keep doing it.

    If you're worried about your parents, they won't blame you. They can't blame you for something you tried to prevent. You said stop, he didn't listen, that's his fault, not yours. I don't forsee your parents being mad at you for getting raped. They'll probably be really mad at him.
     
  5. dancingqueen79

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    I'm 14 and he was 18
     
  6. AzThRg0

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    Well he is over the age of consent and you are under it, you could report him to the police if you want to press charges.
     
  7. Mirko

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    Report it to the authorities. Although it might be hard, talk to your parents about it. They will be able to help you as well. They will understand and so will others. It is not your fault. Please talk to someone about it.
     
    #7 Mirko, Jun 27, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2008
  8. Quitex

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    Even though he is your 'friend', he didn't acted as one at all. You might feel bad or uncomfortable telling the police about it, but you should (must).
    I wish you the best of the lucks.

    And please talk about this with your boyfriend. He seems to be willing to help and support you. Oh, and by the way, there is no need to say that you're gay if you present charges to the police or tell this to your dad/mom/parents
     
  9. EM68

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    Yes it is! Report it ASAP. Also get some help for yourself, some one you can talk to. You may feel you do not need it now but you will need it in the future. And if you remember one thing it is NOT you fault!
     
  10. Samus610

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    I think you should report it to the police as soon as possible. Something like this shouldn't be ignored. I can't imagine how hard it would be to tell the police. But you should try. I really hope you get through this okay.(*hug*)
     
  11. joeyconnick

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    Oh my gosh... I'm so sorry... that's such an awful thing to go through.

    In Canada, that is most definitely SEXUAL ASSAULT (which is what "rape" is covered under) and even if you hadn't said stop, if you did not verbally consent to what he was doing, that would still be sexual assault. It doesn't matter if you fought back or didn't, or if you yelled out or didn't... if you did not say you were willing to do what was happening, it is sexual assault. It was not, at all, your fault.

    And if he's EIGHTEEN and you are only FOURTEEN... that is appalling, just because likely he is bigger/stronger than you. I mean, it's all appalling anyway but yeah... that must have been so awful for you. I am really sorry. I have been roughly felt up in a bar against my will and even that was really horrible, so I can't even imagine what it would be like to go through what you've gone through.

    It is really important you find someone with training to help you out--that is, a registered counsellor, preferably someone who has experience dealing with guys who have been assaulted in this way. And it would probably be good if you could let your boyfriend know that the reason you are scared to have him touch you is nothing to do with him but owing to what you've just gone through.

    And you should tell your parents if at all possible. You need all the support you can get right now.
     
  12. Ryan

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    Yea, definatly sounds like it, you did say stop, and the whole...hand over the mouth thing....sounds like rape to me. Im sorry=/
     
  13. beckyg

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    I'm so sorry. You definitely need to report this. This person took advantage of you and mostly likely he's going to do it to someone else. Please talk to your parents.
     
  14. LOVEjames

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    Exactly like Becky said, if he's doing it to you, then he's probably doing it to other people, or thinking of doing it to other people. It's incredibly normal to be embarassed and ashamed because you didn't fight back, but when you're in that situation, you don't think clearly. Your mind is just fuzzy and you're in a complete state of shock. Another thing is that you may, possibly, have enjoyed it. Or at least, your body did. You may have responded by getting an erection, but that doesn't make what he did any less real. He took advantage of you, and you do need to report this. For your sake, and for the people he might do this to in the future.

    Good luck, and I hope that it'll all work out for you.
     
  15. Omg it's abs rape. I know it's really really difficult but you should really find someone you can confide in, and that person can help you deal with it accordingly.
     
  16. dancingqueen79

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    Everybody, thank you so much, it happened like two months ago. I'm over it but I took him to court and he was found guilty of sexual assult of a minor, he could be serving time. But my bf is really protective of me now...not in a bad way but he told me that we're going to...do the deed when we're both read and getting raped doesn't count. He told me he loved me and gave a ring...not a marrige but a promise ring.

    (!)(*hug*):icon_bigg:kiss:
     
  17. Uncertain

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    Good thing that you are more comfortable with it now. Sounds like things are coming back to normal and you're getting a bit more control over your life and what you want which is great! And that's really sweet of your boyfriend, you're very lucky =)
     
  18. Mirko

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    I'm glad that you did report it and that he was found guilty. It's great that your boyfriend has been there for you and that he is protective and supportive. I think it would still be a good idea that you get some counseling (if you haven't done so already) just to be on the safe side. Although you might be feeling alright now, being raped can have lingering effects on you, some of which you might not be aware of at this time.
     
  19. jazzyphae

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    Yeah babii this is rape...if u wanna talk i'm here...i've gone through this.
     
  20. Negasta

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    Report the cunt so he can go to prison and feel what you felt every night for the next 20 years.
     
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